Expectations of Behavior

Monstrosity does not have a code of conduct, with good reason. 

A code of conduct is essentially a set of rules - it is a policy that has consequences for breaking it. While we talk about this more in our Tools, Not Rules article, we have an extra reason for not having a set of rules with specific consequences: we’re not cops. We’re not here to set down laws and make sure you follow them. We’re here as organizers to help facilitate play and mitigate risks. We don’t have a code of conduct because it’s not our job to police your behavior: all of us have to come together as a group, then we have to take care of each other, and if someone acts with ill-intent, we have to kick them out.

Instead, we have to rely on trust. The risks of this larp go beyond policy - we need all participants to trust that no one came to the larp with the intention of causing harm or disruption, and if harm or disruption does occur, work with us to fix the behavior. And if we, the organizers, believe a participant has acted with ill-intent, we need you to trust us that we’ll kick them out, with or without a written policy. 

Still, one thing a code of conduct does is lay out expectations of behavior, and we do want to do that. We don’t assume that everyone arriving has the same concept of appropriate behavior, and so we need to build a shared mental model - a common understanding - of how we expect participants to behave. Please review these expectations so that we can all come together and play.

We Expect You To Accept Each Other’s Boundaries

The crew of Monstrosity has only one firm boundary as a group: we don’t want you to do anything that would cause another participant to seek immediate medical attention (in other words, don’t do anything that would send anyone to the hospital). Otherwise, if every participant consents to it (including the facilitators), go ahead.

This means there’s a tremendous amount of difficult content allowed at Monstrosity. We emphasize the consensual non-consent play and you should already know you’ll witness violent role-play, including sexual violence. However, you can engage in topics like suicide or racism or abuse. These are not inappropriate for Monstrosity, but we have to respect each other’s boundaries… the moment someone says “no,” it has to stop. People make mistakes, and at some point during your run, someone is going to cross a boundary. That’s not the end of the world, but if you do, we still expect you to respect that boundary by acknowledging what happened and stopping. And then we’re going to address any harm that occurred, and if we can, go back to playing respectfully within everyone’s boundaries. 

We Expect You To Communicate Boundaries

While we expect everyone to respect each other’s boundaries, none of us are mind-readers. So you have to communicate your boundaries to others. It’s our responsibility to respect your boundaries, but it’s your responsibility to let us know where they are. 

We’re going to practice this during workshops, and we have tools that we’ve playtested extensively to help you communicate your boundaries. And wherever your boundaries are, they’re perfect. And everyone playing are intelligent, creative people who can work with whatever boundaries you give them. And everyone understands that boundaries change over time, and will adapt to where they are at any given moment. But when they change, that change is something else you'll have to tell us for us to know.

Communicating a boundary is an invitation: it’s saying that you want to play with the other person. You’re creating a playing field for them because you want them on that field. People are eager to know your boundaries because then they role-play with you. 

We Expect You To Trust Each Other

We don’t believe that anyone comes to Monstrosity to cause unwanted harm to anyone else. Everyone shows up to have a good time and tell a story. So we expect you to trust that people come with good intentions, and no one intends anything with malice.

However, trust goes beyond that. We have to trust what people tell us about themselves. If they say they consent to something, we don’t second guess them. If they express a want or need, we accept that they want or need that thing. And we trust that they’ll communicate their boundaries, just as we trust them to respect ours. 

We Expect You To Use Sound Judgement

We all make mistakes, and you’re going to make mistakes at Monstrosity. However, we give you a lot of freedom, and we trust you to exercise your judgement with it. Sometimes, this means good judgement when you engage with difficult content. For example, you can engage in role-play that addresses racism… but if you’re a white person, this isn’t permission to just walk in and scream the N-word. Sometimes, this means good judgement with the risks you take; we expect you not to do a handstand on the railing of the balcony. Regardless, just because we tell you that you can do things does not mean you stop using your common sense.

We Expect You To Be Adults

Everyone at this larp is an adult. This means you have lives where you take care of yourself to some degree. Some of you even have children you take care of. You pay bills, feed yourselves, and practice self-care. And we expect you to do so at Monstrosity.

This is easier said than done - this can be an intense larp. And we’ll remind you to do things like drink water or get sleep or bathe. But you are the expert on you and your needs, and you were able to take care of yourself before the larp and will be able to take care of yourself after. Make sure you take care of yourself during the larp. 

We Trust You To Respect Each Other

Our characters are about to be terrible to each other, but we expect you to treat other participants with respect. While you might say hurtful or hateful things to a character, we do not expect you to do so to another participant. This includes unwanted comments or actions related to gender, sexuality, age, disability, physical appearance, race, ethnicity or religion. We expect you to understand that in-role sexual activity doesn’t equate to out-of-role sexual attraction, and respect each other’s bodies out-of-role. We expect you to respect diversity, and realize that the risks we take could have more severe consequences for People of Color or members of the LGBTQIA+ community than for people of comparable privilege. Respect everyone’s individual experience, and be mindful of people with backgrounds different from your own.

Finally, We Expect You To Have a Good Time

You came to Monstrosity to enjoy the experience. That experience means different things to different people; you’re responsible for your own good time. And once we establish a baseline of consent, trust, good judgement and respect… you’re not responsible for anyone else’s good time. Don’t forget that you’re here for yourself and your own enjoyment, and don’t get caught up in taking care of other people to the point that you don’t have a good time.